QUESTIONS:
1. Does she make a Spotify playlist for you after your 1st date?
a. Yes, and 9/10 songs come from Lana del Rey’s unreleased collection
b. No, she uses Apple Music
2. Does she mysteriously have a headache when you want to have sex?
a. No, but she’s always on her period
b. Yes, she’s just a migraine girly
3. Has she ever made comments about your height?
a. No, but her crush is Jacob Elordi
b. Yes, because your hinge said you were 6’2” despite being 5’5”
4. Would she still love you if you were a worm?
a. Yes, she loves fried mealworms
b. No, she steps on spiders
5. Is she “microcheating”?
a. No, but she texts her gay best friend whenever you fight
b. Yes, she follows over 15 men on Instagram
6. Does she steal your hair?
a. Yes, she’s a TikTok witch
b. No, only on a full moon
7. Does she understand your taste in indie films?
a. Yes, she loves to hear about your opinions on Quentin Tarantino
b. No, she’s dumb
8. Does she check your astrology compatibility everyday?
a. Yes, she’s such a Libra
b. No, because she says the mercury is in Gatorade or something
9. Does she flirt with your parents more than you?
a. No, but she says your dad is a DILF
b. Yes, she’s obsessed with your mum but it doesn’t matter because she keeps saying she’s not bisexual
10. Does she spend too much time with her female BFF?
a. No, she’s not friends with girls (they’re too dramatic)
b. Yes, but they only shower together because of the cost of living crisis
RESULTS:
Mostly A’s: (she loves you… kinda)
Wow! Your girlfriend must really love you! You’re convenient and average-looking, the qualities every woman envisions her dream man to possess! She can be a bit elusive, but you just need to understand that she needs personal space sometimes.
Mostly B’s: (she doesn’t love you)
Damn 😔 I hate to break it to you bro but she hates you! Her resentment might have been building up for a while now, and she’s probably over the “whatever” relationship already, she just doesn’t have the heart to tell you. It’s likely she’s going to dump you pretty soon so you haven’t got long to grovel.